That's the words that were ringing tonight at what I was expecting to be a reprieve from all the madness I keep experiencing. You see, I'm a square dancer. I'm a court reporter. I'm a caretaker. I'm a musician. I'm a really big dreamer. Lately, I feel like a loser. So no matter how well-meaning everyone was, going to our club dinner and having everyone ask, "Where do you work at now?", well, it just sucked.
Tomorrow is my 48th birthday and I'm still here with my grandmother helping her out. Or is she helping me out. I tell you, when I first arrived here from El Paso, I was not me. It was such a horrible time in my life. My whole world had crumbled and here I was in a situation I'd never dream of, of having to take care of my 91-year-old grandmother who, as it turned out, was not the grandmother I had always thought she was. I guess that can go both ways. Maybe I ended up changing to her and she could say the same thing about me. I don't know.
Here's what I know. I hit a deer on Monday. I don't know if the deer was okay. It was a hit and run accident. I hit the deer and the deer was the "runner." My car is wrecked. Poor YOWBABY. I had to send her off on the back of a wrecker to Wichita Falls. I called the next day to check on her. "How is YOWBABY? Is she okay? Has she made any friends? When you disassemble her, give her a little coverup so she's not too exposed to the others. She'll turn even redder than she already is."
"They'll take good care of her." I was told.
Good. Because the biggest prayer I've always prayed is "God, please take care of my boys." Followed with, "Please take care of my family." And he does. Maybe not always everything we want, but what we need. I rely on that. I think just as much as my grandmother relies on me.
So when I'm becoming a little annoyed or just plain tired of how things are going, I look at her and think that her life is almost over. She's so happy I'm here with her and sings my praises to all she meets. Then I realize, maybe I'm the one that's being taken care of. Maybe all the negativity in my life and the disappointments have placed me here with her to be a blessing for her. My sweet spirit has counterattacked her pessimism, at least a little bit. It's brought her out of her shell and helped her to meet wonderful people she would have missed out on. Seen things through my eyes that have brought youth back into her step.
So tomorrow is my birthday. My car is off in another state. I'm here with my grandmother who is 93 and the picture of health and quite beautiful. Which, turns out, is a birthday present that I'll always have to look back upon and cherish.
Until next time.
Me.
Tomorrow is my 48th birthday and I'm still here with my grandmother helping her out. Or is she helping me out. I tell you, when I first arrived here from El Paso, I was not me. It was such a horrible time in my life. My whole world had crumbled and here I was in a situation I'd never dream of, of having to take care of my 91-year-old grandmother who, as it turned out, was not the grandmother I had always thought she was. I guess that can go both ways. Maybe I ended up changing to her and she could say the same thing about me. I don't know.
Here's what I know. I hit a deer on Monday. I don't know if the deer was okay. It was a hit and run accident. I hit the deer and the deer was the "runner." My car is wrecked. Poor YOWBABY. I had to send her off on the back of a wrecker to Wichita Falls. I called the next day to check on her. "How is YOWBABY? Is she okay? Has she made any friends? When you disassemble her, give her a little coverup so she's not too exposed to the others. She'll turn even redder than she already is."
"They'll take good care of her." I was told.
Good. Because the biggest prayer I've always prayed is "God, please take care of my boys." Followed with, "Please take care of my family." And he does. Maybe not always everything we want, but what we need. I rely on that. I think just as much as my grandmother relies on me.
So when I'm becoming a little annoyed or just plain tired of how things are going, I look at her and think that her life is almost over. She's so happy I'm here with her and sings my praises to all she meets. Then I realize, maybe I'm the one that's being taken care of. Maybe all the negativity in my life and the disappointments have placed me here with her to be a blessing for her. My sweet spirit has counterattacked her pessimism, at least a little bit. It's brought her out of her shell and helped her to meet wonderful people she would have missed out on. Seen things through my eyes that have brought youth back into her step.
So tomorrow is my birthday. My car is off in another state. I'm here with my grandmother who is 93 and the picture of health and quite beautiful. Which, turns out, is a birthday present that I'll always have to look back upon and cherish.
Until next time.
Me.
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